First Day of School

I just got home from my Welfare Policies and Management masters program informational meeting. This was my first program-specific meeting - we met the program directors, a few professors, and all 20 of my new colleagues. I'm a little overwhelmed. My mind is swimming with textbooks to buy, school supplies to assemble, readings to find and print out, and just how I will do another thesis next year.

I can't believe I'm starting grad school. I always knew I would eventually study further than my bachelor's but this is a bit sooner than expected. The program is a bit like what I imagine a Social Work and Public Policy degree might be at the University of Minnesota. It includes courses on economics, political science, sociology, social work, and tons of research methodology.

The way the program is set up - and I think some of this is typical in Sweden but I'm not sure - is that you have two semesters per year. Just like in the US, there's Fall Term and Spring Term. BUT, during each term you have two "courses." The first "course" runs from August to late October, the second October to January. So at one time you focus on only one "course." However, each course is very broad. For our first course, "Welfare Regimes in Transition," we will have 3 professors and 500 pages of reading. Then onto Research Methodology in October. We have only about 8 hours of class per week, which seems pathetically little to me, but I've heard that there is quite a bit of group work.

I hope I enjoy the program. It may not necessarily be my very first choice in all the world. Yet Lund is very highly rated in the EU and the world. It is by far the best University in Sweden and it's quite prestigious. This degree program is new and interdisciplinary and very interesting. I hope that I made the right move to transition from job hunting to grad school, all the while improving my Swedish to make me a better job candidate down the road (and for fun of course!).

When I think of these things - Did I make the right decision? Should I have done this? I remind myself that I admire people whose life story is interesting, with twists and turns and time for exploration. I admire people who take chances and really live the journey rather than focus exclusively on one singular goal down the road. This quite from Steve Jobs sums up my life view right now:

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future," told Standford University graduates during a commencement speech in 2005. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

The End of Summer

The short-lived summer is nearly over for us in Sweden. Today is August 7th, and I know that our sunny days on the balcony won't last long.

The other indicator of the oncoming autumn is our last set of summer visitors! Dan's parents arrived last week. We spent our first few days in Lund, letting them get over the worst of the jet lag and catch up with Dan. We did sightsee a bit - one of the perks of having visitors is seeing your own city and region in a different light. In Malmö, the nearest big city, we were able to do a nice boat tour of the city's canals. We've enjoyed lovely outdoor lunches and leisurely dinners as a family.

Then we flew to Norway! We began in Oslo, which was far more beautiful and fun to be in than I expected. The restaurants are good (although painfully painfully expensive), the people friendly, and the sights clean and safe. I keep saying that Norway is Sweden prettier more friendly cousin. The languages are so similar I can understand most Norwegian, but people seem to be a little nicer overall. Better restaurant service too!

From Oslo we took crazy train rides and multiple boat rides into the fjords. Today we're in Balestrand but getting ready to head to our final destination, Bergen. We have hiked and canoed and had a bit of a relaxing time. I'm really enjoying myself, and enjoying getting to know my future-in-laws as well.

Once we get home, I'll jump back into Swedish classes and also into my masters program!

Living Abroad

I've been spending a lot of time on internet discussion forums. It's something I haven't done before, but for the time being I'm enjoying it. One of them is a wedding forum on TheKnot.com, and another board is on TheNest.com that is for people living outside of the US.

This question was posted today (slightly adapted): Has living abroad made you more certain of what you want in life or less certain?

Here's what I answered (slightly adapted):

That's a really fascinating question... For me, it's a mixed bag. Being away from the US has definitely shown me that the States is my home. I don't think I could retire anywhere else. I even question if I could have kids away from my family without the constant support and familiarity. On the other hand, I see very clearly the problems in the US with healthcare, retirement, family policy, etc. I worry for my future there. So I think being here has given me a different perspective.

Career wise, I think I know what I want to do - I just can't do it here. So I have this idea of what I'll do someday. On the other hand, I've always admired people who are "wanderers," who can go with the flow and go where life takes them. I am not that person (way too type A), but being here has forced me to work less, to give up productivity, to think about what really makes me happy day-in-day-out, to create a mini-family with my fiancé. I imagine it has been character-building for me. Who knows where it'll lead.

/end post

I realize I didn't really answer the question, but it's a hard one for me to pin down. It hasn't made me more or less certain, but it's complicated my future, given me a strong relationship, and provided me important experiences.

Much Needed Update

It's been over a month since I've blogged. I don't have much of an excuse. For a while I was SO BUSY. In fact, I feel like since we moved here 8 (!!) months ago, I've been slammed and unsettled. But lately - wow, I am so bored.

After my parents left, I had about 3 weeks of Swedish for Immigrants. At the end of those 3 weeks, I took the test to get out of that level. Luckily, I passed! That was a big accomplishment. Since then, I haven't had any class! The next level doesn't begin until August 15th, so until then, my days have been open and painfully underscheduled.

In addition, my work has really dried up. My substitute personal assistant job needed me a lot in the past - unfortunately when I was busy moving and getting ready for our guests. Since I've been back, I haven't been called very much. Somehow my babysitting and cleaning jobs have also disappeared. The people who really needed me before just... don't. It's weird.

I spend my days wedding planning. For some reason, I got the bug. I think it happened one night when Dan and I were out with some people from the American Women's Club. Someone asked about my engagement ring, then asked when we were getting married. I explained a bit about the difficulty of figuring out a wedding that sounded fun, wasn't mad expensive, and also wasn't overly complicated due to our great distance from the US. The ladies had some great points of view. They reminded us to do what we want, and provided some ideas I hadn't thought about. After that Dan and I talked a lot about the direction and did some research. Details forthcoming, but I'll say we're close to choosing a venue.

The last piece of news is that I'm going back to school for a masters program in Welfare Policies and Management. It took me a LONG time to come to this decision. When I applied in December, I wasn't gung-ho on the idea. I figured if I HAD to I'd go back. I was accepted in March, and at that time I (supposedly) had decided that I wouldn't go back because I was working and had some possibilities for full-time work in the future. But as time has gone on, I've pulled a John Kerry and flopped back to wanting to go. I've reserved my place, I've told my employers (Lovisa if you're reading, I'm still laughing about that...), and I'm ready to go. What a crazy turn of events.

So I'm on a home-vacation until July 28th with Dan's parents come, then August 26th it's back to school!

A Tour of the New Apartment

Finally I feel as though my apartment is finished enough (and clean enough) to take a few pictures for you all to see - especially those who haven't/can't make it here!

Let's begin:

This first picture is what you'd see when you walk into the house. On the right is the kitchen, on the left the dining room, and in front the living room and then balcony.

This is our kitchen! It has just enough counter space and plenty of storage. On the left is a huge refrigerator and freezer.

This is our dining room - I love the huge solid oak table. Big dining room tables feel so formal and are great for guests. Nothing on the walls yet! Most of the walls in the apartment are concrete. We're renting a special drill this weekend to do some installation.

Here is one side of our living room. We like this couch because it folds out into a surprisingly comfortable bed, and there is storage under the chaise lounge. Mom sent us the gold leafy-pillows and we really like them!

If you were sitting on the couch, you'd see our TV stand - without a TV. We chose this because it gives us a great space to show off the things we bring home from our travels.

Bedroom! On the wall which would be to your left is a huge wall-to-wall-to-ceiling closet. Why is it that Dan has 2/3rds of it?!

Here is our small second bedroom. We have a futon here with storage underneath. I'd keep things there, but the cats can crawl in through the back and they hide there, especially when I'm vacuuming.

Bathroom! Includes a nice washer and dryer.

Hope you've enjoyed the tour!

Our New Home

Monday, 5 days ago, was our big moving day. Since I had been working the entire weekend, Dan did a little more than half the packing (thanks!), and the run up to Monday was intense. On Monday we got up early, rented a HUGE van, and came to the empty apartment for a walk-through and key swap. It was so clean! Then the lifting started. And went on. And on. And on.

I'm used to having some parental help with moving. When I was in college and moving all the time, they'd come and we'd have a blast. We'd all ride around in the old stinky truck (now sold off), do errands together, Mom would put things away while Dad put things together. There'd be a Bruegger's bagel run in the morning, and it wasn't so stressful. So when I think of moving, I usually imagine that kind of fun.

There was of course the move OUT of Dan and I's shared apartment in St. Paul. That nearly led to my emotional unraveling, but that move was of a different caliber. Some things were sold, some were stored, some were shipped, and some were packed away. We had two of everything - beds, tables, bikes, snowboards, mixing bowls. Of course we were moving to Sweden, to make it a little more crazy.

I suppose I would rate this move as 40% less stressful than the St. Paul -> Sweden move, but it was no piece of cake. This time it was incredibly physically exhausting because it was just us for a solid 12 hours. So many times I had to set things down after 5 feet because my wrists (prior injury) just couldn't handle it. I wish I'd hired someone, I sincerely wish I had. Next time we will, mark my words.

But we're in now, and despite my crazy working schedule, we've both worked hard to get things in place. Dan has been backing me up 100%, putting things together when I'm gone. At this point, we still have a TV stand to put together, and it's going to be quite a project. We actually don't have all the tools for it. We still have tons of boxes that we can't unpack until we have more bookshelf space. We have the massive amount of bikes and other sports gear that we need to figure out what to do with. But at least the living room, bedroom, and kitchen are looking pretty good.

So far we love it. It gets lots of light, it's in good condition, we have good reports on the landlord, we like the furniture we've chosen (maybe minus the coffee table which is a little too big for my tastes), we have plenty of space, and there's the possibility of cats (which we should have news on soon). We still need lighting (only the bathroom and kitchen have provided light), all sorts of storage units, and some gear to hang up pictures. It'll take a while to get fully settled, but since we have an open-ended lease, we don't feel any rush.

Ch-ch-changes

I write to you from a very comfortable new chair in our new apartment. It's been a crazy few weeks. Everything I had hoped for in Sweden happened in one short time, which has been exhausting.

First of all, I have been given an amazing job opportunity. About a week and a half ago I was very suddenly hired as a substitute "personlig assistent," which best translates to a personal care attendant in English. That means that I work one-on-one with a specific person who has physical and/or mental limitations. I help them to meet their basic needs, as well as go to work/school, meet friends, etc. I can't really say more because I've signed a confidentiality agreement, so I can't say who I work with or the exact things that happen. The substitute part means that I don't have set hours, and I'm paid hourly rather than by a salary. It seems as though quite a few of my hours I'll know ahead of time, but that when someone is sick I will also be called to come in. For now, this is really good for me. It could of course be an opportunity for full-time work later if I so choose.

I have been working really hard for this. I've applied for countless jobs, pushed myself in Swedish as fast as I could go. But really this came down to a friend (now boss) who gave me an opportunity. She let me shadow her on the job a couple times since she knew it was in my field; then when they needed someone, she trusted me enough to take the chance. Yeah, my Swedish is on the edge. People do need to speak a little slower with me, because thick accents throw me off. But it's a lot of luck that this happened so quickly, and it feels really good.

The Swedish part has been a blast though. All the training and work is of course in Swedish, and I've been able to understand it all and of course communicate back. After 8 hours of that, the strangest thing happened last week. I came home to Dan and everything I wanted to say to him, I first thought in Swedish. It was bizarre. It was like a little reflex. It only lasted an hour after that, but WOW, what an interesting landmark for my second language journey. I've never come this close with German or Kiswahili.

Already I'm fully trained in. Today, Thursday, is my first day on the job alone.

Tomorrow, more on the move.